Does Jessica Simpson even know how to drive?

On the last day of gluttonous freebie-grabbing before last night's MTV Video Music Awards, Jessica Simpson proved herself the Queen of Swag. While Jessica tried on clothes and hats under Joe's appraising eye, a young woman appeared with a fistful of VMA passes, which Paves shoved into his Louis Vuitton duffle bag. Jessica, wearing black Dior sunglasses indoors, could only croak out a few words because of laryngitis - but she wasn't too weak to stock up. Two flunkies groaned under the weight of dozens of bags to be loaded into Jessica's SUV. Her haul included almost $4,000 worth of G-Star denim, many thousands more in Rosalina diamond jewelry, dozens of Hanes and Penguin shirts and a Klipsch iGroove home sound system. Somehow Jessica skipped the Heatherette display, but a resourceful publicist foisted a bag of goodies on Joe as he waited for the elevator. Back in the lobby, Jessica primped before facing the paparazzi while her brain trust debated whether or not she should take her black coat off (off won), and she applied multiple coats of lip gloss while Paves dutifully leaned over to tuck stray hairs behind her ears. Then Jessica selected a key out of a grab bag, in hopes that it would start the Chrysler Crossfire SRT-6 convertible parked outside on 40th St. And guess what? It did! The car was hers. The crowd cheered as Jessica added the $50,000 sports car to her day's winnings - all potentially taxable, though her flack claims she's donating the whole pile to charity. "These items are gifts only if the givers are making these presentations out of what the court has called 'disinterested generosity,'" IRS spokeswoman Nancy Mathis told Lowdown yesterday, adding that with swag, the question is: "Was it made from the goodness of their hearts, or was it in return for something, such as posing for a picture?" (Llyod Groves acct http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/448480p-377537c.html) But I don't know how to drive, jessica whined. (Actually Jessica is one of the great celebs that really appreciate her fans. After this photo op she went along the crowd signing, posing and hugging fans. I'm outta here and if you are read this before midnight ... tonights parties are: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE & NELLY FURTADO :: Roseland Ballroom :: August 31 :: Live performance by the pop-star. Limited tickets are available to the general public WARNER BROTHERS VMA AFTER PARTY :: Bowery Ballroom :: August 31 :: with John Legend performing. BEYONCE & JAY-Z'S VMA AFTER PARTY :: 40/40 :: August 31 VIRGIN's VMA AFTER PARTY :: Marquee :: August 31 :: Special Musical guest The Rapture Warner Bros dinner party: Budukan 9th Ave/14th Lil Kim party at Time Warner Center 50 Cents/LL Cool J Tao 58th Street