Jury Duty - Liza Minnelli

Today I had Jury Duty, I wasn't disappointed, it was like having another vacation day and putting off work one more day. Having been called for Jury Duty about 7 times in the last 10 years, I knew that I could determine who would sit next to me in the Courtroom as the Jury Notices are pulled in the order that they are collected. I scanned the four security lines, looking for an interesting subject. It was difficult at first as most of the crowd was the typical generic unhappy, sweat pants wearing, I don't want to be here jury crowd. Then I saw her, black leggings, sassy boots, cropped black hair with spit curls and a bowler hat to finish the Sally Bowles look. I decided to maneuver myself over to her line and was only 2 people behind her. As luck would have it as we all approached the X-Ray machine she was confused as the Liza character in Arthur, Linda Marolla and began to fumble with her stuff eventually emptying the contents of her purse into several of the trays on the conveyor belt. (At this point the two guys behind her went around her in disgust) In victory I secured my place behind her. Finally she races through the machine as the guard says "Miss next time you don't have to empty your purse, just sent it all through the machine". As the Liza impersonator hurried to the jury check in, we hear from behind, "Who's coffee is this?", I grab it and pass it to Liza, our eyes connect, "Thanks hun!" she says. We enter the room she drops her notice, next I drop mine. Mission accomplished. She wandered aimlessly towards the room, checking her lipstick in the glass doors and grabbed a free coffee cake from the vendor. We sit in separate areas, but are reunited at 11AM as we are called for the last jury panel.

She is number 8, I am number 9. We are taken to the courtroom 407 where we sit and wait for the Judge to call us in for questions. I dive right in with my Liza compliments telling her I love her Liza style and that I love Liza too! She says oh its not Liza inspired, "it's Diane Keaton, La-de-da, la-de-da, la-de-da" she says." further stating, "I love Diane Keaton and her sense of style." Really I say, but I don't recall DK with spit curls and sexy black leggings and knee high black boots, it looks like you are channeling Liza. She corrects me and says its a little more Bob Fosse than Liza, (whatever, I think!) I tell her I just recently saw Diane Keaton, and you would have thought I gave her a million bucks. "You DID!" she squeals, "Where?" I explained about the sighting outside of the Martin Short Show. "What was she wearing, what did she say, Oh I just love her". Oh Boy, I think [I guess if it was about Liza I would have been more excited]. Dee as it turns out is a 55 year old Interior Designer, who's husband travels, and kids are in college. I ask if she has ever been called for Jury Duty "Oh they [the Court] sent me a summons about 7 years ago, but that was during my wild days and I just threw it out!" really, "Hmm yea, they get so mad when you do that, and after a year of threatening me, I had to appear before a judge who then told me to sit in his courtroom for 3 days as punishment. I wasn't allowed to bring anything to read, or take notes, I just had to listen. "Now 7 years later I thought I have a free week, I will show up for this notice." (7 years, geez they call me practically every year). Finally we were called in one by one to be interviewed by the Judge. Dee goes in before me "Chow". Then it's my turn. I happily got picked. As I was leaving the building I ran into Dee who was retrieving her cell phone from the cell phone check. Dee what happened, will I see you tomorrow, I said. She stated that they didn't even ask her one question. She sat down, and then both the defense and prosecuter shook their heads no, then the judge dismissed her. As I walked away I was a little sad that I wasn't going to see what Diane Keaton would have worn tomorrow:(